I’m so fucking disappointed at you even though I have no right to be so, wait! Yes I do! I have all the right to sad and angry at you! You know why!
But… what can I do about it?
Nothing, nothing at all!
I thought that I had my dose of heartbreak last year and was hoping for a better days. You showed up in my life from nowhere at the end of February through this stupid app and kept on insisting that we should meet. When I finally agreed to it (even though I had no expectations), I met you for the first time, March 4th. The moment I laid my eyes on you, I fell for you, yes it sounds so stupid but I can’t explain why but everything felt so right, like it was meant to be. The way you looked at me, how easy it was to be with you and the moment you kissed me, wow I was on cloud nine… I felt like home in your arms. But I guess you never cared for me the way I cared for you, because you were the worst in contacting me or showing interest, while seeing you flirting with other girls. Still we managed to get a second (last) date which to me was the most precious time ever and it was after that day I felt that you were the one I wanted to be with, but I was not like the other girls you met, because you don’t go for the good girls. I was not like them and that’s why you decided to ignore me for 3 whole months during summer.
I accepted that you never wanted to see me again after that day even though I felt bad not being with you but I never wanted to be the girl who made a scene about things so I let you go. I was living my life with friends and family, traveling and just enjoying the summer. Here is the part that makes me sad/confused! You wrote to me after 3 months asking how I was doing and wanted to meet some day, man this breaks my heart… I really thought that you had 3 months to think thing through and wanted to be with me. I had my internship in Stockholm yet staying in Uppsala just to be flexible to meet you but you started school which took most of your time. The only interaction we had was liking each others stuff online and occasionally writing a thing or two, but you never initiated anything even though you said you wanted to meet but you never asked. One day, I asked you out… you saw my message… never replied back and started to ignore me.
Image belongs to (http://www.aaronfavaloro.com/)
To end this awful post, my heart got shredded into million pieces when I saw that you went back to your now 20-year old superficial ex while openly flirting/liking other girls social media and ignoring the shit outta me. You have ALL the time for her! I have been so so sad for the pass month, my heart dropped… again! I can’t explain why but you felt like faith, destiny or call it whatever, even my friends had so strong gut feelings about us. Our story was not normal or ordinary, we both felt something, I know it, there is a reason why you came back but I feel so stupid to believe that you would actually be with me when you can choose 100 girls to bang. You are soon 27 but let me be the one saying this to you: YOU’RE A FUCKING COWARD! You behave like a dumb teenager fuckboy! Grow the fuck up! I mean if I was not the one for you at least have some decency to end things right instead of ghosting me. I really thought you liked me. I really saw myself having a relationship with you. I was so proud of you for doing well for yourself, starting your education and taking responsibilities but something happened and it’s like you turned back to this shit ass player you were before.
At least my ex dumped me through the phone (2x) and in the end we ended everything in a civil way and still care for each other even though we can never be. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel alone again, on square one…
You know what the saddest part is? That I still miss you and fall for you every time I think of you. Yes you are far from perfect and there are things about you that I hate but you completed me somehow. I have learned to accept the situation even if I’m hating every micro seconds of it but I have not come this far in life to let you ruin me, my self-confidence and strength. Yes it sucks to be alone but at least I don’t need 1000 shallow girls to boost the ego by sucking your virtual D and leaving you wanting more. You’re so insecure! I fell for the sweet guy that I spent hours talking about everything with not the superficial ass you are. I knew about your past but I accepted you anyways, I saw potential in you and took you for who you were. You wanted to change for better.
I so disappointed at you Daniel but another lesson learned for me. I guess I still have to some hard classes and heartbreaks to go before I can take my diploma in love. But… I don’t know what love is anymore!
I’m so sad….