Gonna tell the truth

Gonna tell the truth

The presentation for Dressmann goes beyond (South Korea) was a success and the representatives from the company seemed to enjoy it. Not to be a bragger but our presentation layout/design kicked ass, even our classmates love the design, me and my group member did it together since we both are very creative and love layouting!

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After 6 hours of listening to presentations my brain checked out from this planet, and the girls from my team convinced me to have dinner and go out for St Patrick’s Day (not that you celebrate it in Sweden) at some Nations. It ended up me partying till midnight, it was a single girls night! Wanted to feel free, independent and not think about love or relationships, just have fun.  Did I enjoy it? To be honest. No, not really! I loved the House music and everything, but I’m no party girl. The thing is that since I’ve moved here, this seems to be a way to socialize with people otherwise you are alone in your room.

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Me going out tonight felt different and empty, it felt like I was trying too hard to get loose while my mind was saying: What are you doing Nad? Since when do you go out and party too often nowadays? Since when do you “hookup” with a guy you met only because he was charming and said the right things at the right time? You are going against everything that you believed in just because you are so fucking fed up with people and the whole situation. I’m being a rebel and not caring at all! My ex changed EVERYTHING and he is the reason I changed as a person and I don’t know why I really don’t care anymore when it comes to things, yes I wanted to be with Daniel because he made me feel safe, good about myself and feeling attractive, I wanted to fill the void with no strings attached and he was so fricking hot and all mine for that evening!

I’m just gonna say it out loud for the first time: I HATE BEING SINGLE! I’m so sick being brave and pretend that things are okay. Why am I the one suffering all the time when it comes to love and relationships? Why can’t I be the girl who for once gets the guy? I’m 27 and I hate my situation so much! I hate the fact that EVERYONE in my life are moving on with their lives while I’m where I was 5 years ago.

I havn’t had a single successful relationship in my life, the highlights are the guy who left me for another girl, the bipolar guy who brutally broke my heart and six months later got played by a fuckboy. What the hell have I done to deserve this shit? I’m an honest girl who wants the best for people and being understanding and yet I get mistreated, disrespected/humiliated. Why? Because I’m the good girl that no fucking guy wants because they are “scared” to commit, I’m too safe of a card or that they find someone who spread their legs for them instant, that is ALL that matters! I’m just so over this and yes tomorrow I will be like what the heck did I just post but I’m not going to sugar code things and say that it’s rainbows and my little ponies with fairy dust!

This is me being honest and real! No, I’m going to bed now!

  • I’m just feeling alone and I don’t deserve it at all!

I’m checking out!

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16 thoughts on “Gonna tell the truth

  1. You should never be afraid to be honest! I know what you mean when you say you have to choose between socialising at parties or sitting at home by yourself. I don’t really enjoy parties these days either, but I don’t really have any friends who are keen to just stay home with me and just watch movies and relax. Don’t want to be a creep or anything, but I’m moving to Sweden in December so if you want to make a new friend, I’m totally keen! 🙂

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    1. I glad that someone understands what I was trying to say and I had a bad day so I had to let all my thoughts out! That’s so sweet! Yeah it would be nice to have a fika or something when you come 🙂 Hope you had a great weekend! Thanks for the suppport ❤

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      1. Totally, I’ll let you know when I’m over there and we should totally meet up sometime. You live in Stockholm aye? That’s not too far from where we’ll be living for a while when we get back. And who knows where we end up after that, haha.

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      2. Sounds great! Yeah at the moment I’m in Uppsala but till Summer I might go back to Sthlm for one semester before going back to Uppsala for my Master’s thesis 2017 haha. What town will you be at?

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  2. Hey, don’t worry, you will find your prince. I know it’s cheesy and probably the last thing you want to hear but maybe you are supposed to be single now so that you are available for an amazing guy who will come into your life. It’s okay to feel upset about your situation and to express your emotions by any means necessary as well. Honesty is good. Never lower your standards though. Guys might gravitate to the easy catches now but when they are bored of playing games and realise what they are missing it will be a woman like you they will be seeking. You will find someone. Just stay strong and patient for now. 🙂 ❤

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    1. Thank you so much Nadine! Your comment made me happy and it made me feel much better! You’re really sweet! Thank you so much for the support! I have just been feeling so alone the past days but it will be alright because everything happens for a reason! Lots of hugs to you ❤

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      1. I’m glad it made you feel better. 🙂 It’s a pleasure. It’s easy to feel alone sometimes but always remember that if all else fails you always have your blog buddies. Sending hugs right back to you. 🙂

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  3. I feel you! I went out with my friends yesterday and although I felt genuinely great partying, I still felt kind of lonely, knowing out of 13 people there was only 4 to be single. 1 of which is currently dating though.
    But let’s keep it together. One day we will meet our boy as well and until then we enjoy ourselves 🙂 xx

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    1. Sorry that you felt that way! but you are right we need to focus on other things in live right now. Guys will come and go. We both have gotten our heartbroken from the guys we thought were our soulmates/mr right. Dating new people is never easy but it can go well or just FAIL or end up in a hookup :/ Yes one day we will find Mr Right! ❤

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  4. I’m 34 and apparently I still haven’t found the right man. It’s been two months since my ex left me. We lived together and I was with him for three years. It still hurts a lot. Deep down I wish he would talk to me and come back into my life. He hasn’t bothered to speak to me in a month so I figure it’s over. It’s good that you’re out there dating and meeting new guys. I’m just trying to take care of me and my son for now. I’m not ready to move on with someone else.

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    1. Aw I’m sorry to hear about it 😦 Yes it’s never easy when you end a relationship at first but I promise yoo that everything will be alright one day when you are mentally and emotionally ready. I came over my ex whom I loved. I don’t understand how guys can be so cold? My ex hasn’t contacted or anything and it’s been 7 months now. Remember to always put your happiness first and be with people you love. That’s what I’m doing and it’s working even though its hard sometimes. ❤ Lots of love to you!

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  5. I really am proud of you for this post. You shouldn’t ever settle, but being single does suck. Just know that you’re single for a reason right now, the universe (or God if you believe) has bigger plans for you. You’re meant for something better than anything you’ve found! And I CAN’T WAIT for you to find out what it is! 🙂

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    1. It has its moments when you feel so helpless but then I remember that maybe better things are to come and it keeps me positive and motivated! Thank so much for your comment Shauna ❤ Lots of love to you

      Liked by 1 person

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